5. Heaping Blame and Putting to Shame
5. Burdening with guilt and shame
This particular method of dominance is the most confusing of them all. Women who are the victims of humiliating treatment or abuse of some kind develop a sense of guilt for what has happened.
It is often said that "she" only has herself to blame for herself or her behaviour. "She" more or less asked for it!
This sort of judgement often leads to women believing that the critics are right. It's probably all my own fault. I have only myself to blame. This sort of thinking leads many women to blame themselves for what has happened regardless of whether it can be justified or not. In this case it is important to analyse the situation and form a realistic opinion of what has in fact happened. Above all realise that there is no reason to feel guilty.
Act as follows:
- Contact a close friend and analyze the situation together.
- Get your friends to defend you.
- In other cases make sure you defend other women who are victimized.
- Get rid of your guilt feelings by trying to form a clear picture of the underlying pattern.
- Get back at the person who put the blame on you. Show them what actually happened.
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